Sometimes a sleepless night can seem to never end. The infinite amount of thoughts free in your head, roaming left and right to drag your attention away from sleep begin to burn questions into your mind, fears into your being, coldness into the very core of spirit.
"What have I done that was wrong?"
The days event's mulled over and over in your mind, like reruns of a terrible film you are forced to watch unfold over and over and over until your stomach feels so heavy and dense you know the urge to be sick approaches
"Have I said something again?"
You trace the words you said over and over, remembering each facial expression your words caused, the frowns, the wry smiles. Baffled you lie - there were no awkward silences, no offensive statements that escaped your lips today.
"What is wrong with me?"
You say that as a statement more so than a question. You know all the things that are wrong with you. Your imperfections, your twisted sense of humour, your arrogance, the list is endless. But you hid all of these things today. You were PERFECT. Not a single part of the persona you displayed today was wrong.
"Did I do anything right?"
Now you frantically search for any sign that you have a chance, a shot, a magic bullet that might possibly convince another chance. Redemption. One last opportunity to convince everyone you interacted with today that you are a good person.
"Good person. I may be a good person, but I'm not a good enough person. Knowing that makes the wish for sleep a light in the distance. An illusive beacon on the horizon"
By this point of the night, (as ever insomniac knows) if you find relief in sleep, then you will wish to never wake again
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