Bitter because it hurts to know the outcome that you believe is the right one doesn't work out
"What can you change? Sometimes the cards dealt are in your favour, sometimes they are not."
Sweet, because the suffering you put yourself through can begin, but also eventually end. But filling the void that defeat leaves isn't easy. Substances diffuse out, burning the void deeper and deeper.
Staying happy and positive is a challenge, but manageable at first.
Slowly and slowly, hand after hand, cards stop falling your way.
The loved ones we miss fade away, their memories growing thinner and thinner, more transparent.
People we need to support us buckle, unknowingly how much their support means to you
Your happiness becomes a pursuit that fades into a limp, the tough, happy, upbeat exterior seems superficial and pointless. Slowly, your laugh gets quieter and quieter, the glow of your spirit grows dimmer and dimmer still.
Defeat slowly chips away from your spirit and becomes a force that is eventually unstoppable. Knocking you off your feet and pushing you towards the gaping hole in your spirit you've tried to fill. Fighting, but like all unstoppable forces, you are powerless to resist as you face the edge of the void you created.
Finally, the instant before the final surge against you hits, you give up.
You fall, letting your own darkness consume you
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