It pains me to think about how incredibly close I can try and get to "you" and "I" becoming "Us." Individually, I am a decent person, broken in parts but my heart is loyal and in the right place. My mind is a mess, random thoughts and memories dashed with painful emotions shape my chains of thought, and shape who I am as a person. You are amazing already; every little thing about you affects me in such a way that breath escapes my lungs, your presence lifts me above who I am.
But we never made it to Us. I don't think we ever will. Stolen kisses on an alcohol-stained hardwood floor may be the closest we come, however having a person like you in my life as a friend is the warming heartbeat of a sultry fireplace in a comfortable home. As much as I want to strike flame, I know from my past that I will burn the house down - which is fine. I can lose all my possessions and rebuild myself slowly.
What will hurt is sifting through the ashes, through our ruin. Grasping at charred memories of the hours we spent, laughing, sharing silent words and gazing into each other's eyes as if we were magic. That fear grips me because I will be left wondering about you, if you are happy and safe; hoping in awe of you, and if you remember me, or Us
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